So this is how we start, I have been thinking about my life’s decisions lately, I am certainly happy now, but I know that happiness has a price and we expect not to pay. My personal happiness is really what matters, cause I have worked for someone else’s happiness as well. And it is the expectations that kills the relations whether it’s friends or from your loved ones.
I am sitting on top of Kampusareena, getting sun kissed and sipping coffee. I am officially a Teekkari, you might want to hear how I got the chance to be one, it was epic journey with my friends. Oh yeah, I don’t have the same friend’s circle anymore, I was lucky to be able to find people from different countries, at first I would like to thank IAESTE, and especially Teemu for introducing me to a wide ranges of people. I have a place to go to and I am kind of moody.
Oh boy you should hear about the winter here, I thought I will be able to handle it quite well. Actually, I am writing these things cause these are the things which have been occupying my mind. Whenever I talk to people, I talk about Nepal and how and why I plan to return back after my graduation. I wish I was not the only one, so I don’t have to explain it to every people I meet or whenever I get drunk I don’t want to talk about “If everyone stay in this country then who is going to develop mine, for you guys everything has been developed by the government, if you think about the university, our first university was established some 60 years ago and now we want everything that we see over the internet.”
My dad was the first from my family to get education, It is obvious that there are so many things that we need to do before we tackle development haphazardly. I am not particularly proud of the things that has been happening in Nepal. Some dude asked me about the culture of banishing girls to the shed in Nepal, I was trying to explain how it was well thought of, in the past that when you are feeling weak you are not supposed to work and take a rest from the household so they built a shelter somewhere near around the house and they ask the girls on their period to stay there but now they just follow the tradition and don’t think about why it was introduced in the first place. There is a lot of educating and awareness that needs to be done before we even start thinking about people and how they are supposed to (I just saw my crush and I don’t know how I am supposed to think or act ) but never mind girls can wait.
Oh yeah, and how I’ve been telling people that I only came to Europe to escape my marriage and travel around the world. They find it funny well yeah, I am a funny guy but there are times when I am not and I diagnose myself with depression and fucking bad behavior when I am drunk. I am not particularly proud of my drunkenness but during the hangover I think about a lot of things that just escape my mind. It is beautiful but it is tiring. I am the only guy who enjoys the hangover and the feeling it brings. And it is not like I am an alcoholic who drinks everyday or so, but I always end up binge drinking and regretting the next day. I have no fucking moment when I am violent but drinking helps me make a lot of unusual friends and they introduce me to their world which is nice. I have met a lot of interesting people when I go out for drinks, may be that is the motivation that I end up drinking a lot more.
Let’s talk about love, there are so many chances that I have passed on cause I am fucking shy, even when I am drunk I always end up thinking about how I should not be taking advantage of the drunk girls. And with this metoo movement going on, I end up thinking more than I really should. I am not particularly looking for girls but sometimes I wish that I had someone to talk to during the times of despair. I was thinking about myself, how I have transformed from the guy I was when I was in the Philippines to now, when I am not even remotely interested in wasting time to some girls and fucking approaching them.. So chakra dai just showed up, and I am talking to him right now. I have no idea what I am supposed to talk to him. Well as I was saying, that love sucks and I am fine by myself, someday I will have someone to call my own and I will never introduce them to anyone haha cause I wish I could be single forever. I am not particularly proud of my approach in girls, I don’t like my taste in girls.